When we avoid addressing a conflict, we think we are keeping the peace. In reality, we are just trading external harmony for internal resentment. Those small "kinks" in a relationship—the things we choose not to mention—eventually become the lens through which we see the other person. Straightening it out is the only way to see the truth again. How to Start the Conversation
"Let’s straighten it out" are four of the most healing words in the English language. They signal that the relationship is more important than the ego. So, if there is a knot in your life right now, don't wait for it to untie itself. Reach out, speak up, and smooth it over. Let's Straighten It Out
Listen for the "underneath." Often, the thing we are arguing about isn't the real issue. Listen for the feelings behind the facts. The Relief of Clarity When we avoid addressing a conflict, we think